Dhoni blames failed run chase on superstition

After 20 years of crushing defeats at the doorstep of victory while chasing targets, India's cricket-crazy fans finally know what to blame. Skipper MS Dhoni blamed bad luck for India's inability to overhaul targets in steep chases.

"You have all been through it. When the match is going down to the wire everyone is supposed to sit in the same positions and on the same seats in order to maintain the lucky configuration. The unwritten rule of close finishes is to postpone bathroom breaks, even risking serious bladder injury. However, there is always that one unlucky person who enters the TV room at the wrong time and then the luck turns dramatically."

When asked who this pesky unlucky person was, Dhoni revealed that it was none other than batting legend Sachin Tendulkar, much to the shock of everyone.

"We keep telling him - don't come into the dressing room until the end. Stay out there till the winning runs are scored.. Even Ganguly in his captaincy days used to stand on one foot and plead with the man to not jinx the match by appearing at the wrong time. But Sachin is a huge fan of cricket and while he can abstain from watching a cricket match for most part, he always insists on watching the ending of the chase - hell, he is as big a cricket fan as anyone else and loves to see India winning!" added a forlorn Dhoni even as he sipped on his third jar of milk.

Meanwhile, Tendulkar was not pleased by accusations that he brought bad luck to the Indian team by merely insisting on watching the closing stages on TV.

"All of India watches cricket on TV. Why should I be the only one to take the blame always? Like everyone else, I love to see cricket with the replays, Hawkeye, mind-numbing DOCOMO ads and to top it all, the blade commentary from Sivaramakrishnan and Arun Lal. I am just as masochistic as every other cricket fan in this country! Yet, I manage to stay away from the TV until the match nears the finish and victory is a mere formality. Only at that stage do I invent ways to lose my wicket and get back to the dressing room." said a forlorn Tendulkar.

Ace commentator Ravi Shastri as always picked on the wrong idea and gave unrelated and totally unsolicited comments.

"It is not Tendulkar's job to finish ODI chases! How many more roles can he handle? He is already the world's greatest batsman after Bradman and the best ODI opener in the world. For a short man, the amount of bat speed he generates is tremendous. And he can use the long handle to good effect. The atmosphere is electrifying when he hits the ball like a tracer bullet. He is also the world's only perpetual run making machine in non-pressure situations, ideally against weak teams. To top it he is also the only man in the Indian team capable of skills such as throwing off both arms and actually spinning the ball. Take that Kumble and Bhajji!", said Shastri, much to the glee of Anil Kumble who was pleased to know that Shastri knew more things about him than that he (Kumble, not Shastri) was a tall man.

Tendulkar fans as is their habit, refused to take this ignominy heaped on their GOD, sitting down. Across the country, a number of noted Sachin fans stood up in protest. Some of them were already in the act of giving Tendulkar their daily dose of standing ovation and continued to do so.